Each month this year which corresponds to the month our kids came home I’ve written a blog. So here is the final instalment..
November 2001 we got “the call” We got on well with our social worker & in his charming Irish lilt he said. “We think we have a match” followed by “we need experienced adopters for G” Now if you are an experienced adopter you will know exactly what that means….!!
We listened to the details & agreed to meet. We had already adopted twice & so this was to be our third adoption in 4 years. We had a 4 year old & 2 year old. Yes I know mad or what?!!
I’ve written about G’s extensive medical problems in her first year so won’t bore you with the details. Personally we’ve always made a decision on accepting a placement before seeing a photo,simply because we knew once we saw a photo that would be it!
So we decided “yes” We saw a photo of our new daughter. We realised later why her social worker had put a hat on her in it. Medical procedures had led to her having hair shaved! We still fell in love with her immediately we saw it….
So we met on a cold November day. Our social worker had warned us about the extensive scarring on her body & said she looks a bit like a drug addict she has so many needle marks! She was only 10 months!
She checked us out when she met us. She’d had so many carers in her first 10 months I’m guessing she thought here we go again. Her foster carers were amazing. They explained the medical procedures we had to do & said we needed to change a nappy. I thought it was a strange request given we had had 2 other “babies” but as soon as we did we realised why! She has short bowel syndrome as a result of early surgeries. Everything moves through at the speed of light. If you’ve ever had a baby with a tummy bug imagine that 24/7 every day every week for ever!
Yet despite all this she was a feisty, happy little baby. Introductions were short in those days & she came home quickly. We all loved her & so did our family & friends & I took full delight in having a little girl after two boys. We adjusted to her medical needs & although I look back & think how did we do it we did! There was no real support after adoption then either practical or financial so I guess we just got on. Thankfully shortly after her arrival our health visitor left & a very good new one arrived! She was on our case straight away & we are eternally indebted to the help she arranged for us!
So began a new chapter in our family life. G began to thrive physically & took no nonsense from her two elder brothers! The physical scars of that first year began to fade.She made rapid progress in her delayed development. The emotional scars though were buried until adolescence. We admire & love our daughter for her strength of character. She went through more in her first year than many will go through in a lifetime.
Yes she is going through a hard stage as she processes her early trauma but we are confident she will get through. She always has & so will we….